While getting ready for work this morning, I flipped through my CD book and decided to listen to "Lupe Fiasco's Food & Liquor." I haven't listened to the damn-near classic album in over a year. It's weird because I feel like I never heard it up until this morning. I'm very particular when it comes to music. Before anything, the beat has to capture my attention. No matter how profound or "deep" the lyrics are I cannot listen to it unless it sounds good. And although I love this record, I never really listened to it before.
So, I'm getting dressed and Lupe says...
"I use to hand my homework in first
Like I was the classroom starter
Burst to tears
Let them know he see us
Now I'm fighting in class
Got a note last week that say I might not pass
Kids ask me if my daddy is sick of us
Cause you ain't never pick me up"
Those bars hit me like a ton of bricks. I really got to thinking about relationships, love and...this epidemic called pregnancy. It seems like half of the people I know personally or through association are pregnant or already have children. Quite frankly, I think it's disgusting. Don't get me wrong. No matter what the circumstances children are a blessing. The circumstances, however, are what turns my stomach. I only have 3 sets of friends who are actually married with children. They are in love, their families were planned and they take care of their responsibilities. Unfortunately, they represent a small percentage of the "circumstances." Most of the people I know are young, unwed mothers, who have no relationship with their child's father. When referencing the men in question the response is often something to the effect of, "that nigga ain't shit." And I agree. Nothing disgusts me more than a man, especially a fellow Black man, who doesn't take care of his responsibilities. However, this is NOT a one-sided issue. What I want to know is, before it even got that point, why women (and men) refuse to make wiser decisions? Yes, he "ain't shit," but in most cases you knew that before you decided to have unprotected sex with him. And yeah, my nigga, she ain't either, but why didn't you wrap it up? It just doesn't make sense to me. Then there are the ones that really kill me and the worst thing about them is that their population seems to be growing at an alarming rate. Those women who "just want a baby." That really pisses me off!
People are SO fucking selfish because in all these situations, no one suffers more than the child. More and more kids are growing up without their fathers in their lives. And no matter how great a mother someone is or how great of a support system the child has, the absence of their biological father does have some psychological effects (reference Lupe's lyrics above). I know a lot people will try to argue that it can be done. Our commander and chief, the first African American president of our nation, Mr. Barack Hussein Obama is living proof of that. But like plus-size Daisy Dukes, just because it can be done doesn't mean it should. Barack himself expressed the same sentiments during his campaign.
I know that the majority of my conviction about this issue has to do with my own father's presence in my life. My dad is an amazing man and I know that him being in my life made all the difference in the world. I never once had to wonder where he was or wonder whether or not he loved me. Besides the fact that he reminded me on a daily basis, he showed me. Although my parent's are divorced today, I always knew that I was conceived in love and that I was planned. My parents were completely selfless and did everything they could to provide me with the best life possible. I see quite the opposite in my generation. People that wanted their children, but didn't necessarily want ALL the responsibilities that came with them. It's not fair that your child should have to struggle with you because you weren't financially and/or mentally ready for them. It's not fair that your child is being dumped off with relatives and friends so that you can go to the club. I'm not at all implying that personal time isn't important and necessary because it is. Everyone needs a break. What I'm saying is that it's not fair that you made the decision to conceive a child without the capacity to be a parent.
I do know some phenomenal, single mothers and fathers who take care of their fucking business. I commend you and you have my utmost respect. You know who you guys are. But the sick, sad truth is that most of you DO NOT! And you motherfuckers make me sick! Ugh!
Kids are not cute little toys. They're not a decision that's to be reached on selfish impulses. They're human beings. They're blessings from God. They're the future.
Everyone, both men and women, please make wiser decisions. Period.